Favre - Don’t Funk With My Heart!

Brett Favre is losing it. It being his credibility and his stand up guy image.
Sure he can change his mind, but how often? It seems as if Brett has now decided that he really wasn’t 100% sure he was ready to retire. It appears as if Brett still has the itch to play and wants the Packers to take him back.
Come on Brett, stop playing games with everybody. Stay home, drink beer, go fishing and spend time with the ladies in your life for a change.
Brett is a true jock, he loves the sweat and the male testosterone rush. He can’t get enough of it and now that July is here, training camps will be opening, and the season is right around the bend, Brett is “feelin’ it” again.
Stop funking with the hearts of your fans Favre.

HATTIESBURG, Miss — Three days after a conference call with Green Bay Packers team officials on Tuesday in which quarterback Brett Favre emphatically expressed his desire to play in 2008, Favre on Friday formally asked for his contractual release from the Packers in a letter, sources close to Favre and the team said.

The letter was sent by Favre’s agent, James “Bus” Cook, via overnight mail on Thursday and arrived at the Packers facility Friday morning.

Cook, on behalf of Favre, expressed a desire to have an amicable parting, as the Packers have been reluctant to embrace his return. Favre announced his retirement in early March.

During a conference call on Tuesday that included Packers general manager Ted Thompson, Packers coach Mike McCarthy, Favre and Cook, sources say that the quarterback stated emphatically that he wanted to play again.

Favre was reminded by the Packers’ brass that it was in March when the quarterback said publicly and privately that he wasn’t 100 percent committed to football, sources said. Favre acknowledged his state of mind at the time, but added that he never felt he was a 100 percent committed in March of previous years, either. Favre felt he had to make a decision to retire because the Packers were pressing him for an answer, a source said.

During the same conference call on Tuesday, neither Thompson nor McCarthy were openly receptive or enthused about Favre’s desire to un-retire, the sources said, prompting Favre to direct Cook to request his release from the Packers. Favre has three years remaining on his contract for a total of $39 million. He currently is on the reserve-retired list.

Favre wants a mutual parting rather than having to force the Packers’ hand by writing a letter to request his reinstatement to the active 80-man roster. Under league policy, the team would have to comply or release him.

Cook’s letter did suggest that Favre’s accomplishments for the franchise merited the team honoring his request to be released, also asking that the action be taken “with no strings attached.” Favre does not want to be traded, sources said, because he wants the freedom of choice to play for any other franchise.

Favre has been in communication with McCarthy during the past month about his desire to play but until this week had not spoken with Thompson.

Neither Thompson nor McCarthy were available for comment on Friday.

Favre did not wish to speak publicly about his situation when approached while working out Friday morning at a local high school in Hattiesburg. He appeared to be in excellent physical condition and threw the ball with ease, even throwing a football 50 yards “on a rope” with high school receivers. He has been throwing and running with the team for more than a month.

Favre was relaxed and in a positive frame of mind, joking and telling stories about himself, former teammates and coaches. He planned to continue working out next week.

Born on the Fourth of July

Fuckit

Happy Fourth, it’s my day to do nothing.
No BBQ, no swim party, no to anything that smells like work. In fact it’s fuckit to everything and everybody.
Want to talk to me? Fucku. Want to see me? Fucku.
It’s one of my fuckit days.

Cooking? Fuckit.
Working? Fuckit.
Shopping? Fuckit.
Cleaning? Fuckit.
Reading? Fuckit.
A-Rod and Madonna are getting it on? Fuckme
Willams Sister in Wimbledon Finals? Fuckem
Bozo the clown is dead? Fuckhim
Hamm fails a drug test? Fucku

What do I do on a fuckit day?
I just say fuckit.

Spread ‘Em Belichick

The new NFL sheriff, Roger Goodell, was scoring points early and often as the head honcho of the NFL.  He vowed that there would be no more bullshit from the players and, so it seemed, from coaches with larceny in their hearts.

But it hasn’t taken long to have the spectre of politics enter the NFL’s handling of the charges leveled against the Pats and their coach, charges stemming from the frustration of Senator Arlen Specter.
According to reports, Specter feels the NFL has been stonewalling him and his staff in efforts to get to the bottom of this controversy. He has also implied that the NFL may never get around to questioning Matt Walsh, the deep throat key witness and former Pats video assistant.  

The Commish, on the other hand stated that the NFL was moving towards an agreement with Walsh that would immunize Walsh from litigation. ”My suspicion is that they’re going to put enough conditions on it so that he won’t talk,” Specter, a Republican from Pennsylvania, told ESPN.com. “If they had wanted Walsh to talk, it would have been done a long time ago. They are not helped by keeping him on ice, unless they intend to [permanently] keep him on ice.” If the league gains Walsh’s cooperation, Specter said he wants to be present when Walsh is questioned “because a witness’ testimony can be shaded or molded by who questions him first.” Walsh, employed by the Patriots from 1996 to 2003, has suggested that he has information, perhaps even materials, about the Patriots’ video practices that could be potentially damaging. 

NFL spokesperson Greg Aiello said the league respectfully disagrees with Specter. “We have offered Mr. Walsh’s attorney assurances that are fully responsive to his concerns,” Aiello said. “And we have not heard back from him. … We very much want to speak to [Walsh].” As of Friday night, however, the league and Walsh’s attorney had not reached an agreement.
But the Senator has said that both the Pats and the Jets have refused to cooperate with the investigation.

So here we are, the almighty NFL has fought the Vegas hotels when they tried to throw Super Bowl parties using their feeds. They forced ESPN to take their not so pretty picture of football players soap opera off the air. They have gone head to head with the cable companies in their quest to get the NFL Network included with little cost. They have essentially driven NFL Films into obscurity and they have made it virtually impossible for programs such as Inside the NFL on HBO to stay on the air and compete with the likes of Jamie Duke.

What the Fuck?
The NFL is no longer a little league with a sense of community. The NFL is now a powerful and hungry corporate monster that looks out only for its own . Sounds strangely like corporate greed doesn’t it? Stay with it Senator Spectre, the government may be the only entity powerful enough to rock their boat and make them accountable.
Because no one and nothing else seems to be able to.

Roger “The Dodger” Clemens

 

Roger “The Dodger” Clemens

 Breaking News: Roger Clemens answers questions: 

Q:
Did you take steroids?
A:
No

Q:
Did you have an affair with then 15 year old Mindy McCready?
A:
No

Q:
Is your name Roger Clemens?
A:

No, oops I misremembered.

Maybe we can supply Rocket Man with some ginkgo biloba for his memory issues.
Looking for love in all the wrong places Roger is living out a Country Western song.
The Ballad of Roger The Dodger Clemens.
I was a fool for loving you and I know that it was wrong. But I can’t remember what I do, especially when I’m on my “roids”.  

Where the hell is Columbo when you need him? How’s about we call Monk and have him obsess about the actions of one of America’s baseball heroes?
Joe DiMaggio where are you when we need you?

Mamas don’t let your sons grow up to be morons and idiots.

Not only is Roger trying to dodge steroid use questions now he is being accused of a relationship with an underage girl.

To make matters worse the shit is hitting the fan at warp speed as heretofore hidden secrets of the rich and famous ball player are making their way across the internet.

 Breaking News

The New York Daily News reports that Clemens and Mindy McCready were lovers when she was only 15 years old and Roger was 28, a married father of two and the Red Sox’ best pitcher.

“I cannot refute anything in the story,” McCready tearfully told the Daily News yesterday.

Breaking News
Wife of retired pro-wrestler “Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake” claims accused baseball bad boy Roger Clemens made a pass at her 18 years ago, but the married Red Sox [team stats] ace never reached first base.

Breaking News
Barbara Leslie, 43, of Winchester - then a comely waitress at the celeb-magnet Palace nightclub in Saugus - claims that in her brush with the Rocket, he said, “‘What would you do if I tried to kiss you?’ ” and she replied, “‘What would your wife say if you tried to kiss me?”

Clemens’ Houston attorney Rusty Hardin did not respond to a request for comment on this latest accusation of extramarital shenanigans by the seven-time Cy Young Award-winning pitcher, who’s also under investigation by the FBI for steroid abuse.

Leslie, who hadn’t yet met her husband of 15 years, Edward Leslie, was fetching drinks in lifeguard shorts and a tank top at the Palace when, she says, Clemens happened by with a pal in 1990.

“People were going, ‘Roger Clemens is here, and Roger Clemens is here!’ ” she said. “Being a big sports personality in Boston, all the waitresses wanted to wait on him. He definitely didn’t act like a man who was married, though.”

Leslie said Clemens had been in the club about an hour and she admits to flirting with him until he allegedly followed her into a dressing room off-limits to the public, leaned into her and made the clumsy, rebuffed overture.

“Back then, it was a compliment to have someone like Roger Clemens think you’re pretty, and I’m a huge Red Sox fan,” said Leslie, “but the next day, I was totally grossed out.”

And no richer for it, apparently.

“I gotta tell you, he wasn’t that great a tipper,” Leslie said. “As I recall, he didn’t even take his money out.”

Breaking News
Roger “The Dodger” Clemens has decided to take the fifth on every issue, every question and everything in his past until the proverbial cows come home.
Here’s a useful tip Roger, keep your mouth shut and keep it in your pants.

 

Joisey Boys

The NFL is on the clock, but  - Surprise - the Tuna has gone and taken all the fun out of the contrived drama.
You gotta love the cojones on Bill Parcells. He is a no nonsense East Coast Joisey Boy.
The number one pick is out of the bag. The woeful Fins under the leadership of “if I’m going to cook the dinner I want to buy the groceries” Parcells aren’t wasting our time trying to figure out which of the unproven college players is going to go at numero uno.

At Number One the Miami Dolphins select….drum roll….. Jake Long
The Fins signed the former Michigan State left tackle to a five year contract reportedly worth 57.5 million with 30 million guaranteed.
Thank you Football Gods!
I won’t have to set my TIVO to record the moment for posterity because I sure as shit am not going to sit around on Saturday morning for that slow death watch.
The number one pick is a done deal and all that remains for numbnut fans to ponder are the other two hundred something other picks in the two day bore-a-thon.

Thank you Tuna, you’re style of football has always been old skool with a touch of Mafiaoso thrown in for good measure. Tuna knows how to handle these beefy men but Just in case one of the blockheads get out of line he is propely versed on how to address that question. Who the fuck do you think is the boss? It’s me, Bill Parcells, capishe?

There seems to be a little Tony Soprano in the Tuna and I like it! Perhaps Bill is taking a page out of the HBO Sopranos script. Running a tight ship with dire consequences for those who don’t follow the family’s rules seems to have a familiar ring to it.
Maybe Tony Soprano isn’t really in the house but, the new head coach of the Fins is Tony Sparano, how freakin weird it that?
Making their pick in advance is meaningful for the team. For the floundering fish it means they can move ahead with rebuilding the team without a holdout, without a lot of quarterback or prima donna drama and without the rest of the league trying to second guess Tuna’s draft day strategy.

There are two fellas with the last name of Long in this draft, both of them highly regarded college players, Jake Long and Chris Long.
Jake Long as the number one pick becomes the highest paid lineman in the NFL without ever playing one damn down in the NFL. With a regular season record of 1-15 the fish need every able bodied player they can find. The Fins tried to trade the number one pick away and get more players but there weren’t any takers. The value of a number one pick is becoming economically questionable. Too often the number one pick is a big, expensive, ugly, bust. Better players are often found in the later rounds. General Managers have gotten wise to this and try to pick wisely and cautiously.
Don’t get me started on the inequity of the draft and the ridiculous amounts of money being thrown at unproven young talent. Fuggetaboutit.
But at least we don’t have numero uno drama to endure. Thank you football gods for small favors.

Bill Parcells is making his mark as the new head honcho, VP of Football Operations, in Florida.
By all accounts Jake Long is his type of player, and the type of guy he wants to build his team around.
Strong and mean on the field, but a good character kid off the field.

Although the drama may be missing, Jake Long is still planning to fly to New York on Wednesday and attend the draft.

As the NFL Turns will now focus on the number two pick.

The St. Louis Rams are on the clock.

Making a Mockery of the NFL Draft « Doing Joe Namath

Making a Mockery of the NFL Draft « Doing Joe Namath

Asking if he could Kiss Suzy Kolber while on camera and while clearly under the influence of alcohol was Broadway “Willy” Joe’s most embarrassing moment since he wore panty hose.
But as they say old jocks never die they just develop ED.

I feel for Willy Joe. He used to be the toast of the town. He was hot. I know, I was hot then too. Now Joe is old and droppy, a description that oddly, fits me. Joe’s party days are behind him, I think. I still like a good party, good music, fine wine, wacky tabacky and hot sexy, sweaty men.

But this weekend it’s just me and my love machine, the remote.
It’s time to waste two whole days on mind numbing blah,blah,blah. Yes it’s time for the NFL Draft. Whoo Hoo. This is the most contrived event in all of TV history. Ok, I admit that Dancing with the Stars comes pretty goddamn close.
But two entire days devoted to watching big, young men squirming and sweating in suits is sheer torture.
Still, it’s a rite of passage, they say, for true NFL aficionados. A testament to a fan’s dedication. The be all and end all for fans and teams desperately seeking salvation.
What it really is is a sideshow that rewards young men with immediate fame and fortune.
How fair is it for these babies to get rich before they have played one down in the NFL?

They are sent into a world they are not prepared for and expected to deal with money, fame, hustlers and groupies. The NFL eats up and spits out hundred of “ready for the NFL” college players annually.
But they seem ill prepared for the NFL and everything it entails. Here kid, go follow the American Dream.
By the way kid, here’s a shitload of money to go with your new fame. We expect you’ll know how to handle it.

Good fucking luck, come see me in fours years.

Some very creative, funny-stupid, lunatic men have taken that embarrassing sports moment and created a hilarious blog, kissing suzy kolber. I’m a fan of theirs. They truly have big balls.
Doing Joe Namath is this girl’s view of sports, satire and all the other shit that I can’t publish under my well known and respected name.
Doing Joe Namath is the irreverent rantings of a woman whose body rages with horrific waves of with estrogen. The only saving grace? I will never, ever, have ED!

About « Doing Joe Namath

About « Doing Joe Namath